


Crack it up

by Silvaxus



Series: Crow's Saturday Facebook Prompts [30]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Eating Habits, Black Humor, Gabriel Being Gabriel (Supernatural), M/M, Sam fears for his balls, Scared Sam Winchester, mentions of spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-05 23:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16377293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaxus/pseuds/Silvaxus
Summary: There were hunts or moments during them that made Sam nothing but uncomfortable. Playing a Federal agent in a nest full of rednecks was one of those moments.





	Crack it up

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this prompt was my idea and I came up with bullshit:
> 
> Credits for the edits for my beloved Beta [CrowNoYami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowNoYami/pseuds/CrowNoYami)

  
  


There were hunts or moments during them that made Sam nothing but uncomfortable. Playing a Federal agent in a nest full of rednecks was one of those moments. Right now, he was sitting across a woman who made him think her family tree was a donut.  
  
Fat, cross-eyed, one half of her face didn’t fit with the other half, and personal hygiene didn’t seem to be an active topic for her. She was using a damn rock to crack open one nut after the other which she grabbed from a bowl. The empty nutshells ended on the ground.  
  
Sam pushed the photo of the last victim across the table and closer to the woman. “Have you seen this man? I was told he was often seen around this trailer park.” The woman looked at the photo in front of her but never stopped cracking open the nuts with her rock. That she was chewing with her mouth open disgusted Sam more than he was ready to admit.  
  
The woman grunted and washed the remains of the nuts down with something that smelled like… moonshine? “No, never seen him. Is he dead?” _Smash_ and another nut died under the rock making Sam fight the urge to cover his balls with his hands. “Unfortunately, yes. He ended on the wrong side of someone else’ knife.” Not true, the guy had been ripped apart by claws the size of switchblades.  
  
After he got his answer, _smash,_ and another nut died, Sam left the photo where it was and got up. “Thank you for your help. Should you get any information about the man on the photo I would appreciate a call.” Placing one of his business cards with his fake name on the table, Sam left. The sound of the nuts dying under the stone following him outside and his balls hurt in sympathy. He was going to skip anything nut-related for his breakfast for the next few days.  
  
Sam drove back to their motel of the week and unlocked the door. He still had time to kill until Dean would return and he could use the time to…  
  
An unexpected hand closed around his dick and balls while Gabriel, only clothed in a tiny loincloth, screamed like a pterodactyl. “Happy grab-some-nuts Day, Sammy!”  
  
Sam may have screamed loud enough for the whole motel to hear him, and he might have spanked Gabriel so hard that Dean couldn’t set a foot into their room and instead sent him a message so he would get a new room. On the other side of the city.

**Author's Note:**

> For more of my insanity, find me on tumblr: [Silvaxus](https://silvaxus.tumblr.com/)


End file.
